Yes We Can, the Blueprint—How to Finish the Change We Started

The Audacity to Win

We won. I was reminded of the feeling that I and several other friends had the night we knew President Barack Obama had won the election for the President of the United States. Many of us, including me, played small parts in helping this victory happen. An African American had just become the 44th President of the United States. I recalled stepping outside to speak to my mother, a woman who had marched in the Civil Rights movement, and discussing what an historic moment we had just witnessed. We were both proud, but felt, in the final analysis, this victory would be viewed as hallow if we did not use it to make real change (i.e, pass broad laws that impact the majority of America and elect other similarly minded and diverse people at the local, state and federal levels). These feelings had been conjured up by the book I was reading on the way to the annual legislative meeting of the Congressional Black Caucus (“CBC”)—The Audacity to Win. Why exactly, it is, or was, audacious for an African American to have won the Presidency is a story for another time.

My feelings of excitement, happiness and desire to help make change that had been stirred by this powerful book were only re-enforced last night at the CBC Awards Gala when President Obama stepped on stage to speak to the crowd. Even before he spoke, one could feel the electricity in the room exuding from his person. Some, in the community, call it “swag”. Others say he has something special. Regardless, our President clearly has “it”. As he began his speech, everyone in the room could feel the same energy that had popularized what had become the President’s catch phrase during his run—“Yes We Can”. This excitement was bolstered by the President reviewing the many impressive accomplishments by his administration in their first 18 months. The excitement, however, was tempered by what the President called America being at the crossroads.

We are at the crossroads, as stated by the President, because despite having saved the country from another “Great Depression”, passed health care reform and brought an end to the Iraq war, the Republicans, and increasingly the Tea Party, feel the President is not doing a good job. Not only do they want undo many of the aforementioned changes, according to minority leader Boehner, they want to take the country back. This is where the irony gets rich. The last time the Republican minority felt this way, the then minority leader Gingrich, made a contract with America. I am not sure what Newt thought he would deliver under this contract, however, what ensued were eight years of policies that led America right off the cliff. On the day President Obama took office no other incoming President had faced so many challenges on so many different fronts: a crumbling economy, millions of Americans without jobs or healthcare, wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and increasingly sour relations with the world’s other super powers. As the President mused last night, it is now pretty funny that “the people who drove the country off the cliff, then watched us while we expended blood, sweat and tears to push the car, that is America, almost back on the road, while they drank slurppies and talked about what a poor job we are doing, now want back the keys to the car”??? No, the President said, resiliently, you can not have the keys to the car back. I suppose this is why the President called our current position a crossroads. To stay with the car analogy, we can hand the keys back to the Republicans, and some of their Tea Party friends (whoever these folks are), put the car in reverse and go backwards, or we can leave the car with the people that have made change, continue in drive and go forward. A precarious position indeed.

To be clear, while change has been made, we must go further as a country. As the legendary community activist, Harry Belafonte stated “President Obama will drive change, but can not do it alone”. It is clear that true change can not be about one man acting alone, it must be about a Nation working together. Mr. Belafonte further observes that a contributing factor to our being at the crossroads may be that our generation is missing true activists. In other words, the millions of Americans that will work at a grassroots level to help make the change we all claim to want. Viewed against this lens, we must realize that being active every four years, usually during a Presidential election for many of us, is not sufficient. Real change is made on all three levels of government—local, state and federal. I believe we must work on all three levels, and do so continuously. To do otherwise, is to fail to participate in the process that on a daily basis impacts all of our lives. If we fail to participate, we can not then complain that the change we seek did not come.

Real Progress

Recently, I had an opportunity to hear a very senior Senator speak. He told a powerful story on the US economy. On the morning before AIG would be taken over by the US government, a group of the top leadership, from each party, Senators and Congress people were summoned to a meeting with the President and Treasury Secretary, to discuss AIG and the broader economy. It became clear that unless AIG, and as we know now, a few others, were assisted, in other words saved, by the government, not only would they fail, our entire economy would become unhinged. Markets would have plunged, there would have been panicked runs on banks, and unemployment would certainly head toward the 25-35% “Great Depression” levels. The phrase “to big to fail”, for me, now was clearly defined.

Viewed properly against the backdrop of having to make critical decisions concerning institutions that were viewed as “to big to fail”, the only choice for this President and his administration, as they took office was to act decisively, and to make those actions big and bold. What then, have been the results of these actions? Recently I was provided the opportunity to attend a White House briefing on these matters. I admit to being impressed by the breadth of what this administration has been able to accomplish, especially given that it has only been 18 months. A few of these accomplishments:

The Economy
$750+B in TARP Funds. 1/3rd deployed.
Financial industry saved from ruin. Many regulatory changes made to make sure the possibility of a similar collapse in the future is lessened.
US Auto industry back on its feet
Reversal of a jobless trend—moved from losing 700,000 jobs a month to an economy that is currently adding jobs
Tax incentives for businesses to create jobs
Passage of a small business jobs bill and related lending fund

To be fair, the administration must do a better job of providing metrics as to how this $750B has been spent, its exact stimulative effect and the rate at which jobs will grow. This seems more a matter of communication and marketing, than flawed policy, so I think, given their stance as active listeners, they will improve in this area. This point about greater visibility and communication may also be made about many of the other changes being made by the administration. In short, tell us more, and more often.

Healthcare
Passage of healthcare reform that provides basic healthcare to most Americans
Additional money for preventative services
Control of escalating healthcare costs
Elimination of the lifetime benefit exclusion

Foreign Relations
Ending of the Iraq war
Steps toward ending the Afghanistan war
Continued negotiations in the Middle East
Actions, by the EPA and DEO, to reduce our dependence on foreign oils

Education
$4B for educational initiatives
Focus on those poorest performing 2000 US schools
Focus on HBCUs
Funding for more Americans to pursue higher education

As an aside, I think the administration would be smart to pick up Michelle Rhee, if she is not retained by the new Mayor, as DC schools chief. Her brand of innovative and outside of the box thinking may be just what America needs to make systemic change to its educational systems.

Viewed through an objective lens, a great deal of progress has been made by this administration in its first 18 months. I think the President would acknowledge that more work remains. However, even acknowledging more work remains, it does appear that the foundation has been laid for further change. So then what remains? How do we achieve the change we all seek? On a related point, and as Duvall Patrick recently asked “how do we (also) guard the change we have achieved”?

The Path Forward—Being the “We”

During the process of electing President Obama many of us were fond of the quote “we are the we, that we have been waiting for”. To many, it signified that this was a movement, and this movement belonged to all of us. I believe we got off to a great start by getting President Obama elected. I wonder, however, if we have lived up to the “We” part of this change process since. To be fair, many, many Americans have continued to work hard in their communities for advancement. What does it say, however, when in California, for example, there was only a ~20% voter turn out in the June primary. To me it says a great many of us stopped, satisfied with having an African American President. We said to ourselves, “I worked hard, and maybe I will work hard again in 2011 or 2012 when it is time to get the President re-elected, however, until that time I have lots of other areas in my life that require attention”. I do not want to understate the difficulties of every day life. Although our economy has improved, many Americans still struggle with mortgages, joblessness and meeting basic needs. That said, to fully realize the change we seek, we will have to dig deep, work even harder…sacrifice.

John F. Kennedy said “pray not for easy lives, but for the strength to meet life’s challenges”. We must now summon this strength. We must all focus on protecting the advances that have been realized. Additionally, we must achieve a great turn out in the midterm elections, and continue getting America back to work. We have to get back to the same sort of grassroots actions that got President Obama elected: registering voters, getting voters to polls and microfinance initiatives that fund campaigns. To return to the example of California, if we turn out at 20% again in the fall elections, as opposed to the 70%+ rate at which we turned out in 2008, many leaders who would have continued to advance this change will lose: (i) Barbara Boxer will not be Senator; (ii) Jerry Brown will not be Governor; and (iii) Kamala Harris will not be Attorney General. On a related note, if we fail to act decisively and as a collective, there will be no African Americans in the US Senate. Kendrick Meek, Democrat, Florida, will need a Nation to achieve victory. We can not allow any of the aforementioned to become realities.
The change we seek is squarely in our hands. Our actions, or inaction, as the case may be, will determine the future of a generation. Will we act? Will we lead? Will “we” be the “we” that we have been waiting for? Let’s not put the car in reverse and go backwards. Our future can be bright if we strive. Let’s stay in drive and head toward an even brighter tomorrow

(Why do) Things Fall Apart???

What is it all About
Today I write with a troubled soul. Those of you, who have read my blog or just generally know me, know that I am not exactly the sensitive type. I say that to ask you to bear with me as I try to express not just my own views, but also those of many friends and acquaintances, and maybe even a generation who undoubtedly share some of these same views. My subject today is love and relationships, and why are they, especially the later, proving to be so elusive to my generation. I say my generation. At this point, I am not sure if that is Gen X, Y or Z or some combination of all three. If it helps to have context, I am 41, single and never married.

So why is my soul troubled? You may have guessed from the title and first paragraph of this blog that I have recently experienced the ending of a relationship. This ending was surprising to many, including me, who saw great potential in this relationship. Of course I was, and I suppose still am, sad. Why couldn’t we overcome the differences that spelled the end of our relationship? I shall return to this point later in the blog. If this were all that was bothering me I doubt that I would be writing. After all I have my own circle of confidants for such sympathy and support. No, the source of my torment is bigger, far greater than just my own pain.

Recently, I have come across what seems an alarming number of people who have broken up, divorced or are in the process of the same. I was having drinks with some friends recently, when I came across an old friend. I immediately said “how are you, how is your husband”? She replied, sullenly, “Didn’t you know, we are getting divorced”. I was floored. I mean they have been together for more than a decade, have two beautiful kids and generally seemed like that family you hear about in the American dream. I have another set of friends who have been battling for several years, and at this point, appear only held together by a child they have in common. Believe it or not, I was pulled aside by a friend, in the same week as I ran into my divorcing friend with the same circumstances as my “battling” friends, seeking advice on whether to stay or go. Wow.

I think, then, my soul is troubled, not just because of my own relationship struggles, but because so many around me seem to be having the same, or worse trouble. Why? What has happened to our generation? I mean it seems we all want or are seeking love. The evidence is everywhere and has been written about extensively. In the music world for example, Prince sang about “everyone looking for the ladder”, India Arie crooned “I am ready for love” and my personal favorite, Sade, proclaimed herself “A soldier of love”. Death Cab for Cutie provides one of the more poignant examples of true love. In the song “I Will Follow You into the Dark” the group sings “if there is no one beside you when your soul embarks I will follow you into the dark”. It is basically one lover saying to another, who is dying, that I will commit suicide and join you in the “dark” rather than live in this world without you. I realize that this is a dramatic example, and I certainly do not advocate suicide (pro choice/pro life friends, this subject in another blog), but I think it makes a point about how powerful love can be and why many of us pursue it. Why then is love, and relationships, which are supposedly based on love, proving so elusive?

The Story behind the Stats

In the US one in every two marriages ends in divorce. For you statistics geeks that is 50%. In other words, the chances of a modern marriage lasting are no better than a coin flip—a silly game of chance. This rate is the highest it has been since 1970. A generation earlier the divorce rate in the US hovered slightly above 35%. Of course the rate varies based on many factors such as race, income, religion, etc, however, all in all it is a sobering statistic for those of us still “chasing the ladder”. Many more do not make it to marriage at all.

The reasons behind the statistics are plentiful:

Marriage
Lack of effort. People taking easy way out. If it does not work with minimal effort, the marriage is abandoned.
People set in their ways.
Starter marriages. I can get it right next time.
Failure to really know one another or share common values.
Lack of agreement on whether to have and/or how to raise children.
Money.
Infidelity.
Lack of communication and/or different styles of communication (Mars/Venus phenomenon).

Relationships/Getting to Marriage
Independence. I am good on my own. I do not need a mate to make a good living.
Alternatives. Couples deciding to just live together.
Career. Individuals wanting to “make it” prior to marriage or see marriage holding them back from advancement.
Lack of suitable candidates.
A related point to the preceding—either I will not wait on a suitable mate or do not believe I need one to have a child. Sperm bank and adoption seen as real options.
Global society makes it harder, not easier to connect. Yes, even with Facebook and Twitter.
In African American, and other minority communities, the disparities in education and career options between men and women.

The sad reality is that we now live in a “microwave society”. Often times if a relationship does not work or can not be fixed in an instant, it is over. We seem to want our relationships like we want our popcorn—when we want them and ready, to perfection, in four minutes or less. Unfortunately the real world does not work like that. Relationships are hard. They require lots of work. Nowadays it seems there is no longer any dependence of men and women. They can do without each other. Knowing this makes it easier to break off a relationship, often times over the smallest issue when either or both partners are not satisfied.

Of Consequences and Hope
In a simple sense, the consequences of failed marriages and relationships, more generally, are an increasingly cynical and bitter society—men and woman. A deeper look, however, reveals far more dire consequences: (i) people sad and losing hope; (ii) less true happiness; (iii) economic struggles; and (iv) a nation of children devoid or lacking family values. Of these consequences, the one that most troubles me most is (iv). Clearly there are many adults, who were the product of single parent homes, who are thriving and well adjusted. I was raised by a single mother. I think, all things considered, I am pretty well adjusted and generally happy. That said, there are far more folks negatively impacted by this issue (see education, employment and prison statistics to name a few). Assuming the parents are generally happy, and have decent communication, raising children is a task best shared by two. One, it is easier to divide the workload. Two, children need unique things from each parent as they grow and develop. Finally, with two parents there may be more money to provide for the family needs. As “republican” as it may sound, I would like to see a return to more two parent households, co-parenting, and yes, “family values”.

I do believe there is hope. As smart and as successful as our generation has been generally, I believe we can better figure out relationships and how to make them work. More tenacity is needed. Additionally, we have access to a greater number of resources than did past generations. Counseling, religion and friends and family are all sources of support for troubled times. If we use our intelligence, employ our tenacity and make good use of our resources, I believe we can do better.

Let me close by saying there is nothing wrong with being single. Relationships and marriage are not for everyone. There are plenty of single people who raise great kids, and God knows that there are many, many children who need good homes. For those that do pursue relationships, including marriage, mental readiness (including having dated sufficiently so as to be out of your system), willingness to work and faith in the possible or prerequisites.

Thanks for letting me speak. My soul is far less troubled than when I started writing. I remain hopeful, optimistic, and yes, still looking “for the ladder”. I hope you do too.